How to Boost and Develop Self-Awareness: What It Is & How to Cultivate It

Self-Awareness

How to Boost Your Self-Awareness

Growing up as a teenager, a young adult, and an adult-adult you’ve come across the statements
“You need to be self-aware”, and “Know your true self”. What meaning did these statements have in your life? Well maybe, you acted upon the words or nothing changed in your life because you did not know what it meant to be self-aware or showing up in your true self.

Self-awareness is a journey, not a destination. As you are growing, a lot of things change, from your hobbies, goals, relationships, interests you name them. Once you realize this, you will appreciate the process of learning about yourself, understanding your emotions, and testing out different things that you enjoy doing. 

You no longer want to spend time on things, or relationships that do not satisfy or make you happy. 

What does it mean to be Self-Aware? 

Self-awareness is having an understanding of three main aspects of your life, that is the cognitive, physical, and emotional. The cognitive aspect of self-awareness refers to how you think, learn, or even understand things. Your ability to assess your physical state, your health, your body movement patterns, and moods, what makes you happy or sad. 

Self-awareness is understanding your emotions, thoughts, actions, and how they distinguish you from others. 

Why self-awareness is important in your personal and professional growth.

When you are self-aware, you become better in decision-making due to enhanced clarity thus becoming a better person. Your communication skills and collaboration are enhanced. You now can say NO to things that do not serve you as an individual. This way, you dictate a positive working environment. 

On your journey to becoming the better version of yourself, you will need to understand what self-awareness means, what perspectives surround it, why it is important to be self-aware, the types of self-awareness, how can you develop self-awareness, if you are self-aware, and how can you improve it. Looking for all these answers? You’ve got them well structured for you on this post.

How does Self-Awareness relate to Emotional Intelligence and self-reflection 

Self-Awareness vs Emotional Intelligence

Self-awareness is the key component of emotional intelligence. While self-awareness is your ability to identify and understand your feelings, emotions, and thoughts, Emotional intelligence on the other hand is your ability to manage your own emotions and be aware of those of others  thus influencing your actions.

Self-Awareness Theory

According to the Self-awareness theory that was coined by Duval and Wicklund; it is evident that when we focus on ourselves, we tend to compare our current states to our internal values thus determining our behavior in different situations. Thus, as a result of self-awareness, we can attain high self-control. 

Myths of Self-Awareness

Myth 1: Self-awareness cannot be learnt 

One of the greatest misconceptions about self-awareness is that it cannot be developed or rather it cannot be learned. Just like any other skill, self-awareness can be developed and enhanced through continued effort. 

Myth 2: Self-awareness is when you determine weaknesses 

Self-awareness is beyond just identifying weaknesses rather it is more of identifying and recognizing personal strengths.  While you’re on a journey to self-awareness, focus on your strengths. By doing this, you boost your confidence. Identifying your weaknesses is important as it helps you work on becoming a better person but do not allow them to overshadow your strengths.

Myth 3: Self-awareness is selfish

Prioritizing your needs before anyone else’s is not being selfish. This is why, when you become self-aware you are more conscious of your behavior, actions, and the effects they would cause to you and others. Instead, self-awareness is selfishness since you understand how the results of your actions will affect others hence you prevent that from happening. 

Importance of Self Awareness

 Self-awareness does have a great impact on many aspects of your life, from your relationships, career, mental health, and overall well-being. 

3 Benefits of Self-awareness in Relationships

1. Improves Communication

When you are self-aware, your communication is enhanced. Given that you now understand how to identify your thoughts and feelings as well as those of others, you are now able to hold honest conversations with your partners or friends.

2. Enhances conflict resolution

Self-awareness helps you resolve conflicts more effectively by controlling impulse reactions caused by anger. You hold a mindful conversation which leads to strategic conflict resolution. 

3. Increases empathy

Besides being aware of your feelings and thoughts, you are also aware of those of others. You will put yourself in the shoes of your partner and be mindful of your actions and words. This way, you will establish a more open relationship as you have boundaries and better communication. 

Importance of Self-awareness for  Career Success.

In your line of work, self-awareness is important. It starts with identifying your strengths and weaknesses. You will capitalize on your strengths, focus on them and excel in what you do. This will allow you to stand out through the results you drive making you stand out in your workplace. No one is perfect and that is why identifying your weakness is important. In your career, you must make sure that you address and work on your weaknesses. If it is anger issues, learn how to control yourself.

You can utilize your strengths to make the right decisions. It also fosters an open-mindedness to learn and remain resilient.

You become conversant with how you treat others when you are self-aware. Your interpersonal skills are enhanced such as empathy, effective communication and collaboration. 

Why is Self-Awareness Important for your Mental Health

In today’s world, we tend to forget to reflect on our lives and behaviors. With everything that is going on, work, relationships, family, you name them, we tend to neglect our mental well-being. 

When we turn into our behaviors, thoughts, and feelings, we are fostering a positive mental health. 

Here are 4 ways in which Self-awareness can be used to Improve your Mental Health

Self-compassion

Treating yourself with kindness is a form of self-love. Refrain from self-judgment and criticism, with positive self-talk. Treat yourself the same way you would forgive a partner and treat them with kindness.

Practice self-compassion meditation, repeat words like, “ I am kind to myself”, “I am worthy of love and care”

Write yourself a love letter, imagine you are writing it to a friend who is going through the same situation you are in at that moment. Express empathy and compassion. 

Seek help anytime you need it. It is also not a sign of weakness but rather of courage. 

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness practices help in relieving stress. Take deep breaths, and focus on the patterns. This will allow your nervous system to calm and foster your bodily sensations. 

Mindfulness meditation, focus your thoughts on the positive and bring it back anytime negative thoughts interrupt. Repeat positive words, in a calm environment. 

Understanding your triggers

Self-awareness helps us identify our thoughts. We can know what thoughts or even actions cause us to react in a certain way. By understanding your triggers, you can manage mental health issues such as anxiety.

Keep track of events that precede a certain feeling or reaction. These events could involve certain thoughts, memories, medication, health issues, skipping meals, and getting angry.

After you identify these, you will avoid them thus making you at peace.

Breaking Negative Thought Patterns

Identifying negative thoughts and reverting them is one way of enhancing your mental health. 

The first step is to identify the thought. Are you generalizing things, are you making conclusions? After you identify the distortion, question it. Do you have evidence or proof for such a thought? What other explanations can you come up with for this thought. Challenge the negative thought.

Test against reality, how realistic are they? Now replace the negative self-talk with positive affirmations. Remind yourself of your past achievements and success stories.

Lastly, be grateful. Shift your focus from what would go wrong to what things you appreciate every day.


Emotional Literacy

Besides being emotionally intelligent in your self-awareness journey, you need to understand your emotions. 

Being able to understand your emotions is a key practice for your mental well-being.

When you feel something, pause and identify what it is. Is it a feeling of happiness, anxiety, sadness, frustration?  When you label the feeling you will get more clarity on what it is. 

Notice the physical sensation that you are experiencing linked to that emotion. Could be tension for anger, a heavy chest for anxiety. Categorize this emotion to understand what yu are experiencing. 

Journal.
Write about your emotions, and their intensity, describe how they are making you feel, the context in which they occurred and lastly their triggers.  

Types of Self-Awareness

There are different types of self-awareness. 

1. Internal/ Private Self-awareness

2. External/ Public Self-awareness

 Internal/ Private Self-awareness

From the two words, internal and private it is clear that this type of self-awareness is influenced by one’s feelings, emotions, and thoughts without being influenced by external factors.
This type of self-awareness involves introspection and self-reflection.
For instance, when you are overwhelmed at work, your internal self-awareness will allow you to recognize it, understand the triggers, and develop a coping strategy.

External/ Public Self-awareness

This type of self-awareness is influenced by one’s ability to understand how other people perceive them. It involves understanding how your behavior impacts those around you. A good example could be during a team meeting, the way others react or respond to your presentation will determine how good or bad your presentation.

How to Develop Self-Awareness.

Self-reflection.

Self-reflection is one way through which you can increase your self-awareness. It involves taking time to think, and analyze your thoughts, emotions, actions, and behaviors. Looking back at a given experience or thought describe how you felt about the experience, what triggered it, what impact it had on you, how you reacted, what you learned from that experience and how will you react next time. Recognize the patterns and insights that emerge. This way you will be able to learn and understand yourself better.

Mindfulness Practices

Mindfulness practices are ways through which one can help focus on the present moment without anxiety or any form of stress. Here are some of the practices that will increase your self-awareness.

Breathing practices; Take three long deep breaths through your nose and out through your mouth.
“Smell the roses, blow the candles” 

Focus on your breathing patterns and the movement of your chest. This practice will help you reduce stress and anxiety.

Journaling Practices. Writing down your thoughts is another way in which you can practice mindfulness. It helps you connect with your inner self and allows you to slow down, identify emotions and physical impact.

Seek Feedback. 

Always reach out to people you trust for feedback. For the longest time, I never liked feedback from my friends, especially the negative ones. However, with time, I realized that their perspective had a great impact. Feedback gives you valuable insights, you understand how others feel about your actions.


Focus on others

Besides understanding your own emotions, strengths, weaknesses, and behavior, self-awareness also encompasses how your actions impact others. When communicating with others, recognize the tone of your words and be considerate of other people’s emotions.

Adjust your actions so that you can foster a positive environment with others.

Put yourself in other people’s shoes, and show empathy by understanding their feelings and their viewpoints.

Be authentic to build trust through genuine interactions. Also, embrace reliability, recognize the importance of keeping promises and being dependable, understand how their reliability impacts others’ trust and confidence in them.

Lastly, conflict resolution. One way to enhance your self-awareness is through non-reactive responses. Avoid acting impulsively during arguments, this will help reduce tension and any form of misunderstanding.
Adopt active listening. Listening with the aim to understand rather than to respond will allow you to always give positive feedback. 

Benefits of Cultivating Self-Awareness

Self-awareness comes with so many benefits that cannot all be listed here. However, these are some of the most common positive impacts that self-awareness will bring into your life.

Better emotional Management

When you acquire self-awareness, you can identify and understand your emotional triggers. Hence, anytime you get triggered you pause instead of reacting impulsively. You will also avoid instances or experiences that make you react or act in a way that is not mindful of others. By implementing different mindfulness practices, you overcome the urge to be influenced by your emotions.

In an instance where you are stressed, practice mindful breathing practices to calm you down. Journal down your thoughts to allow you to get in touch with your thoughts.

Improved Communication

Self-awareness helps you understand the power of listening and utilizing the right tone and words depending on your situation. Besides actively listening, you empathize with others as you can understand their emotions and behavior. You get the right responses, as you are attuned to both verbal and non-verbal cues.

Enhanced Decision-Making 

Decision-making skills are one of the most critical skills that every person should acquire. Better decision-making is only achieved when your emotions and thoughts are calm. Self-awareness allows you to align your decisions with your values and goals. Your thinking becomes more clear, you understand how to distinguish between your thoughts and feelings. 

Improved Relationships

Self-awareness allows you to know what you need and want in a relationship. You understand your emotions, feelings, and those of others.  You can put yourself into the other person’s shoes creating a deeper connection and increased empathy. It allows you to solve conflicts in the right way without arguing. 

Increased Confidence

In your journey of self-awareness, your strengths are revealed to you. You also highlight your weaknesses as areas to work on or improve. Acknowledging this helps in boosting your confidence. You know the things you excel in and do them perfectly which is intended to overshadow your areas of weakness.

Career Success and Effective Leadership

Self-awareness allows you to make the right decisions when it comes to career choices. After identifying your strengths, and what motivates you, you will seek roles that align with your values. You get to work in a position you accepted to be fit for you.

In your role, you also become an effective leader.  With your listening, communication skills, and emotional control you foster a positive work environment. By being authentic at your workplace or in whatever position you are in, job satisfaction and growth are enhanced.



Broadened Perspective

Self-awareness have allowed us to know that it is okay to seek feedback from people we trust. We get other people’s perspectives of our actions or decisions. By viewing other people’s suggestions we ought to do better as they are able to view us from a different angle. You get to consider other alternatives, and assess the risks and choices wisely.


Increased Happiness and Reduced Stress

Self-awareness allows you to understand your triggers, which could be events that makes you anxious or stressed and those that make you happy. Through this, you are able to focus moe on the triggers that make you happy or bring you joy and avoid those that make you sad.

You become more intentional about creating happy moments, you spread love and light to others too.

With emotional intelligence, you get to manage your emotions better. Lastly, increased resilience and adaptability.

When you can understand others and yourself better, you get to adapt to different situations, and settings and interact with people of different behavior.